
Not even all the money, just the money that needed to be spent on good and fun stuff. Let's say a couple of billion-dollar enterprises, without having to manage anything about them except for the spending of the money. Now, if I was in control of just a small amount of everything. I've discovered along my path that even an evil genius should think, "The world would be a better place if I was in control of everything." I don't feel that way, because me in control of everything would be way too much work. WANTING TO HELP EVERYONE HAVE FUN ISN'T VERY EVIL. If everyone was a little bit happier and a little less stressed, then everyone would be having a better time. The idea of a utopian playland appeals to me more than taking over small countries. I had a brief stint with Evil Geniuses for a Better Tomorrow, but their ideals and mine were not entirely on the same page. WOULD YOU EVER CONSIDER WORKING FOR THE CIA OR THE JUSTICE LEAGUE?

I don't think I drink enough Dos Equis for that, but with any luck, one day. Maybe one day, I will aspire to be the most fascinating. I do have a beard, so that counts for something. I've always figured my life has been interesting, and I'm one of the more interesting people you'll meet, but I'm obviously not the most fascinating person. HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE MORE BAD-ASS THAN JUST ABOUT EVERYBODY? But dude remains a samurai/vampire/mad scientist - which puts him in the running for most awesome person, ever, Valentine's Day or not. The totally justified concerns of the TSA mean that he won't be able to bring that death-dealing device to Providence. On top of all that, he's garnered a minor degree of infamy for fashioning a steampunk-style raygun. He also teaches the ways and techniques of the feudal-era Japanese police, and the construction of several varieties of crafts, such as liquid-latex apparel and orchestral instruments made out of lollipop whistles. Ramirez will be educating interested attendees in a few of his numerous areas of expertise, like ballroom dancing and maintaining healthy master/slave relationships.

This weekend, the New England Leather Alliance's bi-annual BDSM convention occurs down at the Westin Providence, right before Valentine's Day.
VAMPIRE COMBAT FETISH FULL
Lord Ramirez, who dwells in an abode full of swords in Hampton, Virginia, happily agreed to chat so long as we plugged the always enjoyable Fetish Fair Fleamarket, where he's slated to appear. So, to sex up the Phoenix's Valentine's issue, I decided to ask a vampire a bunch of questions.
VAMPIRE COMBAT FETISH TV
We know from TV and movies that vampires have more aphrodisiacal allure than almost any other type of magical creature.
